No more being a Jerk

My friend David K. posted a good blog on his pastoralponderings. see side bar. He writes about real life as a pastor. He is honest. A straight shooter. In my view he does a lot of things right and is a great leader of leaders. He is consistent. He understands he is the responsible one who can create a positive environment with his staff. He prasies people openly, and corrects in private, He is consistent emotionally.

Yet, in this post he is honest, at times he exudes the attitude of a Jerk... as I do. I argee with him... this year I hope to be kinder, less jerky, yet speak the truth in love.

                                Here is his post in full

2010 Resolution- No More 'Mr. Jerk'

This is my last blog for 2009. I have been distracted and not as faithful in updating my blog. Hopefully, I will do better in 2010. This blog today is about a resolution that I have already made for 2010!

One of the many things that one encounters in ministry are those that make personal insults towards you or your family. I am talking about people that take cheap shots, make hurtful comments, demean, belittle, chastise, and say and do other caustic things directed at you.

I call them Jerks! Dictionary definition- ‘an annoyingly stupid or foolish person; an unlikable person; especially: one who is cruel, rude, or small-minded.’

There are other ways to describe them as you will see from the next paragraph. But, I prefer to be civil in this blog and ‘jerk’ will suffice. Of course, we all can put names to the word ‘jerk.’

And what is worse, are those times when I have been a ‘jerk!’ Yes, I confess that there have been times when I have been a ‘class A jerk!’ I plan to change that in 2010.

As I was studying and meditating on this issue; I came across a book by Robert Sutton entitled, The No ******* Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t. (Yes, it really does say that in the title; I edited it here for the sensitive and in an effort not to offend). It’s called the definitive guide to understanding, counteracting, and not becoming an ******. Obviously the workplace is a prime place for this type of person. But, it is not exclusive to it as we all have seen our fair share in the church and among its leadership.

Sutton has a dirty-dozen list of everyday ‘jerk’ actions:
1. Personal insults
2. Invading one’s personal territory
3. Uninvited personal contact
4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and non-verbal
5. Sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems
6. Withering email flames
7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims
8. Public shaming or status degradation rituals
9. Rude interruptions
10. Two-faced attacks
11. Dirty looks
12. Treating people as if they are invisible

I am sure that you can identify with some of these or maybe all of them. We all have seen them and experienced them.

In his book, Sutton tells you how to avoid a jerk and how not to become one yourself. On his blog he tells of a church Sunday class that even used his book! That’s bold!!!!

Obviously, the Bible tells us how to live with and respond to jerks. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;…” Matt 5:44 KJV (there are many other references in the Bible).

I heard Loren Cunningham, founder of YWAM, answer a question last night about all the criticism and attempted character assassinations directed at him over his lifetime, ‘How did he survive and stay full of joy?’ He said he forgave them all. Therein lays the key on how to deal with jerks! Don’t respond to them, forgive them!

If I have been a ‘jerk’ to you, please forgive me and pray that I will, by God’s grace, change and refrain from being one in the future.

Does anyone want to join me in the pursuit of this New Year’s Resolution?

David I join... 

whirl wind... season

Wow! I survived... 

Wrap it up was a success at Fairfield Commons Mall hundreds of people came to wrap presents, talk to people and to share their faith in a practical way. 

One lady came in and wanted to talk to me... the boss... as we talked she mentioned that she was raised a Catholic and wanted to reconnect to her faith. She went to her priest and asked how she could become reconnected. He mentioned he'd check with her 5th grade teacher and find out how she had been living the Christian life. In other words, no chance. 

I too have Catholic roots having been in boarding school for 3 years. I was able to share some of my journey toward faith and was able to explain that Jesus is our High Priest and that we can go directly through Him to reach out to God the Father, and that He has secured eternal salvation for those who chose to believe by faith through His grace. (see Hebrews 8 - 10)

It was a great talk... the purpose of Wrap it up? to create God space where people can be impacted by His generosity in a practical way.

Sara Jolie

My cousin sent this message to me today and I thought I'd share. "your church saved me today. i had to go out and get Jenny's present for Jay since he had no clue what to get her. anyway we ran out of wrapping paper yesterday and i was not really looking forward to buying a whole role for one gift. Then i saw your church ...wrapping gifts for free!! i was so excited. Please let them know i appreciated it very much, as i'm sure many others do too." 

Christmas Dreams

This years event was the largest and best attended over 1400 people came to be served and 400 amazing volunteers showed up to help Make Christmas Dreams Come True. I was amazed by the energy and commitment from so many. One lady and her kids purchased 100 presents and we more than met the goal of 900 presents for the kids. I'm always thankful and grateful for the generosity of so many.


developing relationships thru serving Christmas time.

2008 promo below great feel good promo

Baptism Vineyard Style

Interesting weekend this past weekend. Several Staff knew in their knower that this Baptism weekend was going to be big! So we prepared by purchascing new towels, a lot of new towels. Only 9 people were scheduled to be Baptized. Scott spoke about Baptism, as did Caleb in the teen junior high area.

Around 70 people responded to the message and were baptized in what they wore on the weekend. We used all the towels.

Here are a few highlights:

Katrina ...I was sitting and watching all the people getting babtized at the Vineyard this morning when my oldest daught approaches me and says "Mom, I want to be babtized and give my life to Christ." At this point my youngest daughter says "Me too!" Both my daughters were baptized this morning...Taylor and I both cried ...tears of joy for queit a while...God is Sooooooo Great!!!!!

Anna I was the first person to be baptized at the first service. When Scott Sliver called me up by name, I had a moment of hesitation knowing that I was making a big decision... and being the only one who said I was going to be baptized today. But when I returned from changing, I saw a line of people being baptized and I saw one ...of my friend's brother in his nice Sunday clothes in line. The things that made my day were I got baptized and I feel great but also seeing my friend's brother in line. By the way, congrats to everybody else who got baptized today! :D

Ron Congratulations to those who were baptized last night and this morning. Holy Spirit is awesome. I love the way He moves in hearts. Street clothes baptism. Woot!

Christa am so thankful for my savior and his amazing love. I will never forget this day when my son had the courage to be baptized. Thank you Vineyard for making this day possible!

Kristi I was SO SO moved by today's service, and the baptisms. I am waiting until my husband returns from Iraq to get baptized, as I know that he wants to be baptized also. I never even THOUGHT about doing it together until I witnessed couples doing it today. We were talking about renewing our vows..but what about getting baptized TOGETHER and renewing our marriage with the cleansing of CHRIST instead??

Here are the notes...